Meet the Pyro
by Casino39
Summary: For those who want an official "Meet the Pyro" video to be released by "Valve" this is for you.


Disclaimer: I don't own Team Fortress 2

"Meet the Pyro"

The Reliable Excavation and Demolitions Engineer was walking into the intelligence room shotgun in hand. There was nothing of interest in it except the red briefcase on a lone desk on the far side of the room. He looked around the room to make sure he was along. When he was sure that he was alone, he dashed across the room and was only a few feet from the briefcase when a figure seemingly teleported into the room. This being was dressed in a flame retardant suit and its face seemed to hold no soul.

It was the RED pyro.

"Howdy partner" the red engineer said nervously. Well, I was just setting up a sentry in case one of those..." He didn't get to finish the sentence because, without a word, the pyro lifted the flamethrower and blasted the engineer. Immediately, the engineer erupted into flames and turned in to the Builder's League United Spy.

* * *

The RED Pyro is now sitting in the chair leaning the desk and is leaning forward on the intelligence. The Pyro looks directly at the camera but the top of the Pyro's head isn't seen and what the Pyro is saying is muffled by mask that it is wearing but subtitles appear below the Pyro. "Hello, I am combustible materials specialist for the Reliable Excavation and Demolition Co. but people just call me the "Pyro". People assume that the most good that I can do is burn things and "Spy-Check" but I am actually very diplomatic. For example, I like to reach out and get to know my enemies."

* * *

In the "Twin Fortress Complex" or 2Fort The BLU Sniper is standing in the area that he likes to call the "snipers nest" looking over the REDs base to make sure that any attempt of an attack is stopped. He then sees the RED pyro jumping towards him from the RED sniper nest. The Pyro couldn't jump far enough to reach him so he aimed for the Pyro's head for a clean headshot. The Pyro then pulled out a concealed flare gun and fired directly at the Sniper, setting him on fire.

* * *

"I also like to try new and interesting ways to solve problems."

* * *

The BLU Spy was sneaking through the sewers. With everyone else concentrated on fighting his comrades, they wouldn't notice him taking their intelligence until it was gone. Then he saw the bane of his existence in front of him. He tried to pull out the magnum that he always kept in case of an emergency but the flames from the flamethrower quickly engulfed him leaving only his cloaking watch unscathed. The Red Pyro picked the watch and activated it, disappearing.

* * *

"I will work hard until my enemy and I have reached an agreement."

* * *

The camera shifts to the BLU intelligence room. The BLU Engineer was busy setting up a sentry in the intelligence room. If and when his team had to fall back, he had backup. After building the sentry, he turned around to build a dispenser so he could upgrade the sentry without leaving the room. Before he could finish building the dispenser, he hears an explosion. He turns around in time to see the RED Pyro charging at him with a fire ax. The Pyro swings the blunt end of the ax at the Engineer's face sending out a cracking sound that could be heard across 2Fort. The Engineer tries to push himself off of the floor but the Pyro swings at him again, knocking him out. The Pyro calmly strolls to the briefcase.

* * *

"But mainly, I like to burn things."

* * *

The BLU Heavy and the BLU Solider burst into the intelligence room after hearing the sound of fighting. They see the BLU Engineer unconscious, the ruins of the dispenser and the sentry but the intelligence was still in its rightful place. Before they could turn around they were both engulfed in flames. The RED Pyro standing over them. When he was sure that they were both dead he took the intelligence.

* * *

"I guess that I do well with what I know." The RED Pyro then picked up his Flame thrower and blasts it towards the camera and a scream can be heard. The Pyro then gets up, walks towards the camera and turns it around, revealing the BLU spy. The Pyro then turns the camera back around and says "I don't like Spies either." The Pyro then starts laughing manically and the only thing that can be seen is static.

Please review.


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